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Saturday, May 26, 2018

Doubt

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I nursed you
with a father's and mother's
androgyne's glands
I nursed you
with the simplicity of my heart
that offered the foundation of vowels

It was never enough
you grew and grew
yet the nursing stayed; aggressive
greedy and also so wanton

so frightening
it hurt and was a burden on my ribcage
but you have wombed so many places of me
the uterine, the un-uterine and made phallic trenches
and ovarian explosives of any other than you

you compromised me like bigoted cancer
and shouldered me like I was the infant

I nursed you; cradled you
never knowing you, like the cuckoo's brood
would destroy and deracinate everything else

Doubt. Why did I nurse you so well?
Now you are more grown than my body can handle
My spirit says you speak in tongues
You have mutated into something cacogenic or worse

With your broken wings you jabbed the bones into my soul
hoping to wound me into some submissive, dormant state

but I had wombed you; I can break you
I see casualties whom are my conscience and my instincts
and my intellect, and all my other loves

I sever the placenta, the cord of cortex you have plunged into
you were always a parasite, a virus - you were born to end me
I had borne you hoping to teach you to love me

and at times you do, with some alarm to risk
but I wonder if it is always self-preservation

I know I can only end you in volumes
not in one fatal sweep. I don't mind

After all if I had borne the misery you gave me
you must endure the misery of ingesting the cure.

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