Ways to be a perfect friend and lover
The best relationships begin with great friendships, right? Here's how to build both together.Support each other's dreams: We all have dreams and goals. Be there for your mate. Go to the gig, attend the event, and encourage them to pursue their passion. Don't let the "reality" of being together turn you into a dream killer. Friends support one another's endeavors.
Go on adventures: There is nothing like experiencing something with your partner for the first time! Find some exciting things that neither of you have done before. Whether it's a hiking trip, visiting a new country, or hopping on jet skis. Trying new things together helps you to be vulnerable with one another again as you both figure it all out!
Find common interests: Sure you love spa day with the girls and he loves basketball with the guys, but finding a hobby you can share will definitely help you stay connected. It doesn't have to be something you do on the regular basis and can be something as simple as going to your favorite frozen yogurt spot. Highlight your shared interests and find things that you can do together as a couple.
Kep judgment free zones: eSomething changes in our minds when we add the "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" title. Communication is not always as simple as it was when you were just dating. But occasionally you have to be able to put the girlfriend or wife hat to the side to allow your partner to be really open and honest with you. It's the "I won't get mad, but I just want to know where you are coming from," zone. Friends listen to each other without immediately flying off the handle.
Laugh often: Make sure that you find the time to laugh with your partner. Life can get serious the further you get into relationships. The angst of real life, bills, and family can really take a toll. Make sure that you are incorporating time to just laugh and enjoy one another without bringing the serious things into it. Seeing a show, watching a comedy film, or reminiscing over good times are always to keep the laughter going.
Make time for each other: Life gets busy with work, kids, and more work. It's easy for our relationship to drive on auto-pilot at times. But if you make time for girl's night, you need to make specific time for your partner as well. Date night is essential so that you have time to check in with one another without the distractions. Investing in your relationship includes knowing what's going on with your partner outside of your time together and this is the perfect opportunity to catch up.
Keep their secrets: Now, we become a vault for our girlfriends' indiscretions, secrets and the like. But then we spill the beans about intimate discussions with our partners. Learning to keep the inner most thoughts and vulnerabilities of your partner to yourself is essential to keep the friendship intact. Make them feel comfortable and open to share by making sure that those things never float beyond the two of you.
Affirm each other: Friends help other friends feel good about themselves. Make sure that you are telling your partner what a great job they are doing. It's easy to become critical and scrutinize everything your partner does the longer you have been in a committed relationship. To make him feel appreciated and loved, be sure that you are doing a lot more affirming than nagging and tearing down.
Accept their shortcomings: When it comes to our friends, we are a lot more understanding of their shortcomings than our partners. No one is perfect. Not even you. So be sure that you are allowing your partner to be themselves without feeling harshly judged about what they may be lacking.
Learning from one another: The times where you can either teach your partner something or learn something from your partner are crucial. This creates such a sense of closeness and a bond that is not easily compromised. When you learn things from each other, you have an opportunity to connect and take an interest in something your partner may know more about.
The writer is a freelance contributor. The write-up has appeared onwww.essence.com